Questionable Paperwork

I was told that the paper work would be kept confidential, under lock and key. I was told that everyone had to fill it out, in case someone had to have an ambulance called. I was told that it was for my own safety and protection. I was told many things.

I held the paper, only two pages of questions, seemingly having to do with my physical health. I wondered if this was legal, I wondered if this was necessary. I also wondered where my right to privacy was in this paper. I asked general questions. I was told it was “in case of emergency, we know what to tell the paramedics”. I looked around the room, peoples heads were down, and they were all writing. I did not feel as though I had a choice, not when its is a right to work state and my contract was worth no more than bird cage lining. We were never made to feel secure at work, we were always worried about our jobs.

I sat down, and started writing. Turning the page, I stopped and my stomach dropped. Wait, this can not be legal…can it? I got cold, and started sweating. There on the page was a section that requested information on mental health, including meds and diagnosis. I looked around carefully, to see what the other teachers were doing. A few caught my eye, as if to say, “Are you seeing this too?” The tension in the room rose. We were not sure what to do. I sat there wondering if they find out would I be fired? Are they going to contact my Dr.’s? Could they? They google us, and check our social media, and can easily find out who is treating us. HIPPA and OSHA can be gotten around, it had been hinted at if you listened carefully in the last several staff meetings. They check our backgrounds and fingerprint us every single year, which is understandable…but this?

I sat there watching others finish and hand their papers to the school principal. She put them face down on the table. That does not mean they were not read after we all filed out of the room. In fact, I am sure they were.

The list on the second page read as follows: ” CPTSD, Generalized anxiety, Clinical Depression, Insomnia, Panic disorder, Closed head brain injury, seizure disorder…resulting from physical and sexual abuse and neglect. ” I did not list the medications, but admitted I was on medications. I asked again where the paperwork was going, I was told again, “under lock and key.” My anxiety was through the roof as I left the building that day,

As the next few weeks wore on, it became clear that many people had seen my “confidential” paperwork. It is easy to tell when people feel sorry for you. In my case people who worked in the office who had never spoken to me suddenly greeted me. People who never paid any attention to me whatsoever began popping their heads in the door asking how I was. How do you respond to such a thing? Not knowing, I didn’t respond. I stared at them blankly and gave simple one word answers.

A few years down the line, I was given paperwork that I was told I had to fill out as my principle decided she was going to teach mindfulness. Uh…okay. The paper work would be very familiar to anyone who had ever sat in a therapist office. “On a scale from one to five, how often do you feel sad?” Four pages this time. I made my discomfort known and she rolled her eyes at me, responding very loudly that no one would see these papers. Others felt the same way, again, we have no union, no real protection and no recourse if we get fired.

And here is how I know that. My principal kept notebooks, dozens of them in her desk. She always had one on the desk when you came in to talk to her. She made note every time you said something. They were all meticulously kept, dated and timed. Something as simple as ,”I am having a hard time today, can I have a break?” Or as complex as having to defend your actions or get reprimanded. It was all written down, and kept. She let it slip later in a conversation with me that she kept them so the school would not have to pay unemployment benefits. Wait….what?

She went on bragging about how she could pull up “dirt” on anyone and send it to HR and have them fight it. HR bragged endlessly about all the employees who never got unemployment benefits, I have heard it first hand. So now, I am stuck.

If I quit, will they send all that paperwork along to my next school? Will I be stuck explaining this all again? How far will this go? How many things are written about me that I do not know? Is HR laughing at all this? Are they keeping all of our information so it can be used as weapons against us in the long run? How many more “survey’s” will I have to fill out, how many more hard copies of extremely personal information will be handed out that we have no real choice in? You can not talk to HR about this, or administration. So really, what can you do?

What is our next piece of questionable paperwork? It just may be my last.